paradise

The big willows hung low to the ground if to bend down and talk with me. My family was sprawled out in the soft cool grass below. The feeling of love was so strong as I gazed upon this beautiful scene. The sun was sparkling through the long hair of the willow tree upon the cards laid out infront of us. We were gathered in a circle hiding smiles behind our cards as excitement built up as I watched my dad draw the next card. Lying on my stomach feet up and sweet grass smells filling up my head my only concern being my desperate need for a king to complete my hand.The moment of truth ....and it was a six of spades. My brother eyes darted back in fort from his cards to the six and in a quick second blurted out " ooh mine!"I rolled on to my back as i listened to my aunts playfully tease him for his giant handful of cards. I stared up at the giant willow and her long flowing green hair playing with the sun. I was enjoying this easy summer moment in this magical relam of the willows embrace. A bubble from the real world sheltered behind the willows branches surround by people I love.

2 gold cards

She was a major flirt. Renne Bingley, a familiar name to the entire male population. Rene was tall thin and had a giant mouth. Big pillowy lips that could give Angelina Jolie a run for her money. Not only was her mouth physically large but she talked and gossiped with it again in large proportions. But she was not only this image. Renne had different dreams than to just be that "it" girl. Since she was a little girl, Renne loved the circus. She watched the ring man absorb attention and show off the amazing tricks and skills of the performers. This was when she new she wanted to be a genetic anomaly,to have 3 eyes,breathe fire, be a clone, or maybe just a twin. There were a set of twins in her 3rd grade class at the time. Maxie and Maddie, they were the coolest kids in the class,  hands down. They wore matching outfits that everyone wanted, cool embellished sleeves or feather boa lined pants. It was like they dressed from a funky dress up box everyday. In comparison Renne wore a pressed navy dress with a sweater everyday as dressed by her mother. She only got to admire the fun style and attitude of the twins from afar, their spirit paralleled to the atmosphere of the circus and she was drawn to them. Unfortunately she never got to befriend them because as soon as she drew up the courage to invite them over for a play date she got wind of news that they would be moving to France due to there parents new job placement. So they disappeared in a cloud of purple smoke, in the wonder and excitement just as the circus did every fall as school started back up.

Late night text

It all started with a late night text. 12:30 am, ding! I stopped painting my toe nails to look up at my phone as it lit up and your name flashed across the screen. I carefully placed the bahama blue coated nail brush back into the nail polish and screwed it on tight. I picked up my phone to read the text. It started with hey (winky face)  upon the start I new that this was not a good sign. Red flags were popping up in my mind. A sure sign of either a booty call or drunk text. I slowly proceeded to decipher the rest of the message that was litered with misspellings and lack of necessary punctuation. "hey ;P, u up cutie". I would not be responding,  technically i was not "up", in fact I was sitting down. In addition I had no desire to have a vapid chat with someone who only absorbed information till the age of 10 then choose to see all else as irrelevant. No sir, try somewhere else. As the minutes ticked by I couldn't stop thinking about it. I huffed, and after a painful flashback to the mere week previous to the day my boyfriend dumped me, I decided to reply. "yeah haha", what am I becoming. I looked down at my reply with embarrassment, why did I do that.

soulful song

Dancing with my mom to Mambo #5 while we waited for the pie we were baking to finish cooking. The music was streaming loud through out the house and I could feel the beat pulsing in rhythm with my heart.  I would shake my hair and jump on the square ottoman pretending to be Lou Bega himself listing off his list of ladies around the world. My mom would grab my hands and we would do a mixture of the twist and shaking our hips with the beat. We would swing our arms and put on swanky faces while inhaling the sweet aroma of the apples baking in the oven. A single song that transformed out moods from boring to sassy and swinging, a song that was an essential part of my childhood and a treasured memory.

starlight

Thoughts
the show horse starlight prances around the ring with confidence with her head held high. She prances on her toes bobbing her head as to adress her cheering fans.
As I stare out into the deep night sky, i stare out into the unfathomable distance of space, and my eyes catch the subtle glimmers of star light.
The grass is cool under my body and the starlight sparkles all over my spot on this hill. Just me and infinate space above its surreal.
Delicate sparkles reflect off the diamond chandelier almost resembling starlight

Bright Clean Pure
Shining from a mysterious hole in the sky
if i was closer would it make more sense
why
did the sun poke holes to peer over the world while off duty
The souls of our loved ones
The prayers sent up all over the world
the night sky the mailbox of God
Perhaps where you live after you die
the mystery of space is unclear
yet it shines so simply

A faded white wooden house, cute but obviously deteriorating. Two windows faced me, side by side and identically rectangular. Very normal, very predictable, and a very common view that I see everyday when I wake up. Today is Thursday, the exact day im not sure of, but like all other weekdays, a day in which I would have to get up reluctantly at a time when the sun and myself were not yet fully awake. As I trudged towards my bathroom to brush my teeth and glance at the ever present white house, a landmark on my journey to the bathroom, something different caught my eye. I stopped right there in the hallway in my big shirt and knotted hair. I saw a flash of gold in the window of that old white house I had believed to be abandoned. A property that would be torn down and furnished into a castle in any other more developed area. Upon further inspection from inside my house through my own rectangular window I was shocked to see a girl. Not only was it a surprise to see life in the old house but I was dumbfounded at the size of this girl. Her face seemed to take up the whole window, some sort of giant child or reincarnation of Alice from Alice and Wonderland after she eats the cake labeled "eat me" and grows into a giant version of herself.  This girl was blonde, had glasses, and most importantly, was staring right back at me. This moment paused my mental clock, my routine interrupted. Then with out warning as I blinked she was gone. The old white house was again abandoned and tragically empty. I seemed to be frozen in time. Was this a mystical moment of magic I had just experienced, maybe. But as I stood there barefoot in the hallway processing my thoughts I embraced a deeper thought. This mirage had been a message. Perhaps that girl was me, a reflection or metaphor of my life. I saw myself outgrowing my normalcy, like a cage I didnt fit in and I was looking to get out. I pulled on a pair of shorts and skipped the bathroom routine. I walked outside barefoot and disheveled. I felt the cold soft dewy grass under my feet. I looked up at the sun as she did her morning yawn across the sky, expelling her warm breath of oranges and pinks as she began to rise out of bed. Today she would see me; today the world would see me.

"i just dont want anyone to look at me"

Samantha Harbrook stood in the white washed hallway peaking into Miss Thomas's 4th grade classroom.
She had her eyes on the gangly boy lying on his stomach on a bean bag reading a book with his feet propped up in the air. All the boys and girls in the room were innocently reading it seemed to be the current activity. With the current state of peace she decided it was the best time to make her move. Will her eyes remaining on the boy she open the door and cooly strode over to him. All the students swiveled their necks like second nature to the sound of the door opening. Dozens of curious and fearful eyes pressed against her back as she bent down in front of the boy in the bean bag chair. "Winston, please follow me", she annunciated slowly and precisely. Winstons big brown eyes widened and he nodded in submission, slowly rising to obey. He bookmarked his book and put it back on the reading shelf, adjusted his glasses, and followed Samantha. As they left Samantha gave a familiar glance to Miss Thomas who in response lowered her eyes and sighed. The class was confused and with the growing buzz of whispers, a more outspoken class member, Rebecca Stark spoke up for her peers. "Miss THomas, whats going on, where is Winston going?"

watching poems

Too much too fast

how can I make my self stop

tranquilizers to the brain

or shock therapy

maybe just close my eyes

let my hands run out of batteries

slide into the water and flow with the wave

in an inner tube wearing thick velcro sandals

the trees stand on the each side of the river

bending over trying to kiss me

but i am to far away

i admire their effort

to try in its self is really quite beautiful

but this is the Guadalupe

she is not an ocean of deep secrets

Her bottom is not dark and mysterious

her waters are shallow and rocky

at times too shallow

I have to get up and walk

Perhaps I picked the wrong river

Together became pieces

scattered without care

all i could think was how can this be fair

It was messy and mean

I felt lost and in between

always packing and moving around

I just wanted to feel safe and sound

He moved several times

She fought for our stability

I saw men trying to help me understand

with glasses and phDs, but I didn't want their hand

She was always curious and prodding

I seemed to always end up sobbing

alone in my room

He was cool and relaxed

But his ongoing girl hunt made me feel taxed

My parents seem to have drowned

in a deep pool of paper work

business issues

house payments

child support

ect.

Quiet places

The small eager eyes of my dog are silent,

The trees rustling and moms walking with strollers are mute behind my window,

A fountain on the patio gurgles in a hushed tone,

the birds land soundlessly ,

Our eye contact is not physical,

just a look or a gaze,

an invisible force noiseless to an outsider,

But in my quite space it is loud,

Your glance in my direction shatters my peace,

All at once my brain starts to buzz in confusion,

You have disturbed my nest,

the silence is broken ,

My thoughts spill from my head and rush to discover their attacker

They stream from my eyes to scrutinize every crevice in your face

The slight crinkle starting to form on the side of your mouth

what does that mean

Tease me any longer and I guarantee it will sting

Dont mess with me

Let me enjoy my quiet place

Haiku

The end of the year

Our time is trickling out

I can see the sun

Inner Battles

At least I made a plan

At least I tried to show you

At least I offered a hand

At least I wanted to know you

You could have said something

You could have made an effort

You could have stopped treating me like nothing

You could have provided some comfort

Your anger is silent

My voice is loud

You say patience is your talent

But my virtue is proud

You are me and I am you

You are my shame

I seek the truth

Will it lead me to fame?

Jitters

Her hand slides down her arm

some fingers slither behind her neck

they move up her neck to massage her head

a hand goes down to adjust her skirt

fingers dance across the table

a palm is pressed to her temple

Her knees bounce

then her voice involuntarily whispers "i'm ready"

Rainy day

Clear and fresh

falls on the world to bring life

sprinkled on our heads to end strife

Most commonly used to clean our flesh

Raise a glass of this drink divine

Universally needed help all things grow

Held in mass quantity in the depths below

A substance so old that even time cannot confine

Wet and Clean

A relief in the summer

Without it in the pool would be such a bummer

Add with soap to maintain good hygiene

A liquid magician

Can shape shift with climate

A super power in just a tiny droplet

All mediums known even to the foreign

Frozen and sturdy

Secure in its ways

Angry with no desire to sway

Cliché Conversation

(subway doors open and a woman approaches another woman sitting down)

Hey how are you , you look a bit blue.

- Really? I guess im just tired, maybe my boss was right and I should have retired.

Oh no dont regret, you should look into yoga my instructor is Annette.

- Johnson? As in our old friend from Farlton!

Thats the one, she is doing so well, if you want I could give you the number of her cell.

-No thats ok, I really dont have time, you see these days Im working from early morning till nine.

Yeah life gets crazy but you shouldn't forget, you dont make a lot of friends as great as Annette.

-I suppose your right, I loved to hear her sing, so on second thought give me her number, i'll give her a ring.

Here you go i'll just jotted it down, oh and i think this is my stop we are entering town.

- Thanks this was nice, next time we should meet up and we can be less concise.

Haha of course you know I would love that, remind me next time to show you a picture of my curious cat.

-Bye Jen! Lets not be strangers, go off into the world and fight all its dangers.

Bye Lou, it was good to see you, but I have to go, i bid you adiu.

(subway doors close)

Aloha Xmas

On a first look he definitely looked like Santa, Santa on vacation that is. My grandpa, and his full round belly, were dancing on the beach in red swim trunks. The Beach Boys Christmas Album was in playing from our deck and I was about to join him. I just changed into my classic christmas suit combo: The bottoms of my american flag swim suit and then a green halter bikini top. My green and red swim suit was perfectly accompanied with a santa hat and my freshly painted red toenails. Its March 29th and our celebration has begun. I moved to Hawaii when i was about 4 years old, I was angry to leave my home and so being the sneaky kid I was set up a deal of my cooperation. I told my dad that I would only go if I could invent another Holiday. In my small sphere of knowledge I didn't fully understand how absurd this was yet he agreed. I decided on a second Christmas, a special "party" christmas. My mom would make green shots of lime juice for me, my dad, and grandpa to take. And the activities continued. Ever since its been a tradition that is never skipped or forgotten. "Real" Christmas, in our family, is all about seeing other family, we usually travel to my aunts house in Ohio and have a white, snowy, freezing cold christmas. Thats why march 30th christmas is so special. We party on here in Maui at the beach in green and red swimsuits and play games. Tonight before we fall asleep my mom and I will make a coconut smoothie for "santa", who in our family, is actually known as granpa. I cant wait for it all to start, i love aloha xmas.

slingshot

Its new, beautiful, and totally affordable. The slingshot formally know as a weapon has become trendy as jewelry. Its a urban tribal look; its the perfect to way to look chic and be safe. If you were to ever get in a tight situation you could simply take it off flip it around and perhaps shoot one of the two giant gobs of round stone earrings you should be wearing, they accompany the tribal necklace perfectly. You can shoot one of your earrings at the perp who is giving you trouble. Todays exclusive new pieces are a revolutionary step in practical jewelry and are predicted to lower muggings by 60%. What are you waiting for purchase yours today! *earrings are sold separately.

Homemade storymatic

The jet leaves at 9am, your appointment is at 1pm, and you will retire to dinner with your father at 6 pm at Bellevue; a driver will pick you up to take you there. My assistant Ivanna listed off my schedule as i was ruffling through my duffle looking for my ipod. I looked up at her in her wrinkle free professional attire. A perfectly pressed white shirt pared with a gray tweed skirt and matching jacket. Compared to my long tunic and black yoga pants, an outfit closely resembling pajamas, I would say she was overdressed. I rolled my eyes as she carefully filed the papers into her planner and began to check her emails. You know, I said, you dont have to tell me about the jet leaving at nine since we are already on it. She gave me a look and turned back to her emails. In that moment i heard the familiar sounds of the engine revving up and the jet propellers starting to spin. I grabbed a water from my bag and sunk lower into the soft black leather chair. I lay there waiting for the ding. I picked up a magazine labeled hottest trends and began reading about the importance of accessorizing when I heard that friendly ding. I dropped the magazine and rushed to the front of the aircraft. Our pilot is named Jon Gustav, he is a middle aged man with a warm and comforting aura to him. I travel to the Czech Republic every other month to stay with my papa. He started working there when I was in 4th grade and I have known Jon ever since. I love sitting with him in the front of the plane; he tells me stories about himself when he was younger and about his troublesome brothers. Today he filled my head with a story that I am skeptical to its validity; it was about a camping trip he took with his brother Halrk and they killed a bear with their bare hands. As the thrilling tale came to an end so did our flight. Before i knew it i was packing all my things into a black Cadillac and on my way to an appointment my papa's new wife had scheduled me. Her name was Milania and was from the Czech Republic,she was a women who liked to be taken care of. She always had herself pulled together and looking her best. I had never even seen her with chipped nail polish. But she wasn't frigid like Ivanna, she was very accommodating and helpful but I really dont know her that well. She claimed this spa she was sending me to, Karlovy Vary, was a hidden gem of her home. My driver stopped at a tall white marble building with green vines slowly trying to climb the base. He got out to open my door, and as i looked up i was taken back at his age. He had to be only a few years older or the same age as me. With wide searching eyes I shook his hand and we exchanged names. I walked into the spa in a dreamy state. I had just met Erik, tall, blonde, green eyed, and handsome, and he would be driving me around Prague for a month! With the cool rush of air conditioning on my skin and the clean white styling of the spa around me only amplified the dream state Erik had induced me in. I slowly walked up to the reception desk, still smiling to myself, and gave the lady my name- Lillian Remmus. She nodded and man came to direct me into the room with a deep chair. This is where he would give me a facial and the pampering would continue. I believe his name was Drahhoslav, something very slovak. Anyway let me tell you, he can give a wicked massage.

Hi five

Callous Hands sliding across the rail. Thin hands sweeping crumbs off the table. Small soft hands patting against the window. Thick hands looking for the perfect shade of red in the marker bin. And my hands, folded and calm. I waited for them to join me. They each came by that day, to rub the back of my smooth hand, or to hold it with a firm grip. But all of our hands embraced as we all said goodbye. I wave my hand in the air as a final farewill and my most loyal friends lowered my into my seat and pulled out a book for me. They turned each page after i was done and guided my reading line by line. A lady comes by and asks me if i want a drink. My hands express the size of coffee I would like and then guide the vessel to my lips. But then my eyes stray to the women across the asile trying to calm her baby down, and as my eyes neglect my helpful hands they trip and in jealousy dump the hot coffee on my lap. I jump up in shock and my hands are useless to me in this moment.

free write

Spring Break. I time nationally known as the teaser show of summer. A time usually spent on a beach getting a tan. Well this year i am actually going to a beach finally. Too bad the exotic white sand beach is Galveston island, 45 minutes away and currently 70 degrees with a 70% chance of rain through the week. Also my mom and brother are going to look at colleges in Georgia, i will be in galveston with my dad. So i decided that im going to bring lots of things to do. So i went thrifting a week ago and bought some white jeans that i plan to experiment with and make into shorts, maybe dip dye them ombre style.